I want to be here for Christmas with my family...PEG insertion 12/17/13

As of today (12/6), 11 days (12/17) and waiting until my surgery to have inserted a PEG feeding tube into my stomach.

Lots of things on my mind right now....
finding it quite hard to focus.

I have to make the decision as to whether or not to accept going onto a ventilator IF  things don't go so well during the surgery......

I know I am the only one who can make that decision.

I am living in a state of animation right now......

I want to be here for Christmas with my family.

ALIVE and well.

                            I have a lot to discuss with God.